Level Up!
by jossujb
Summary: To get a long with Dr. McCoy Spock has to accept there are things he's not on par with the Doctor. If not, the friendship is best terminated, but who would want that? Set sometime after The Tholian Web, I think. (Spones)


Arguments with Dr. McCoy rarely got to a point of actual antagonism. Even a Vulcan without Spock's in-depth acquaintance with Human behavior, could have deducted from his posture, tone and expression, that he was practicing a well-documented behavior of "friendly bantering". Studies indicated it was especially prevalent in interspecies relationships. A code to establish familiarity, if you will.

That said, some individuals were harder to read than others, even for Spock.

"Ah, don't care about old Bones. He's just riffin' ya", Captain Kirk said one time a heated argument had ended in the Doctor's undignified exit off the bridge. Spock had found the situation confusing, as though he had over the years endured various types of Human interaction, at the time he hadn't yet placed McCoy into his own set of references.

"Riffin', Captain?"

"Yeah. He's all bark, no bite. You'll actually find he's really a big softie inside, if you give him the time. He's just trying to get to know you."

"I do not see the logic in insulting my physiology, ancestry and even the style of my hair, if his set goal is to befriend me", said Spock. Kirk just kind of huffed at him in bemusement and wiggled his leg on top of the other.

"C'mon Spock! I know you're not that new, sure you've been poked before to see what kinda animal you are?"

"I am a Vulcan/Human hybrid, that should be in my medical files."

"Now I'm pretty sure you're riffin' me", said Kirk and released his eye-contact. That was something Spock had learned to read as a permission to get back to his station.

In basics, Humans and Vulcans were quite similar, but the way how Humans tended to leave the precise point of their intent unsaid, took a lot of effort to interpret. A Vulcan would say out loud when the conversation is over – a Human would instead send you nonverbal cues. Captain Kirk was relatively easy to read in this respect. He utilized keen eye-contact and relaxed posture, coupled with a smile when he was open and interested. He also cut those off consistently when he was bored or busy.

But Dr. McCoy, Dr. McCoy… what a fascinating specimen! You could say, that Spock didn't know how to response, when he couldn't accurately predict the effect his feedback would have on the Doctor's mood. But he kept on interacting with him. Pushing, as he was pushed. Insulting when he was insulted, and generally speaking, answering with an equal force he was put against with. And for the longest time it proved to be the best possible course. McCoy's responses grew more favorable over time. Spock suspected, that his angered outbursts, like the one that had made him leave the bridge, became more tempered precisely because their bantering created a framework for their relationship. Which, essentially, was the supposed meaning if this type of "testing the waters", as Kirk would put it.

That concluded, Spock still wasn't completely assured around McCoy, like he was with Kirk. In the absence of the Captain, as the incident with the Tholians demonstrated, the aforementioned antagonism seemed to surface. No amount of meditation could clear up the picture. Spock could not see why they couldn't interact as civil manner privately, as they did in front of others. The dynamic was noticeably different too. Dr. McCoy was loud and somewhat inclined to perform when there was an audience – in private he was quieter, tenderer, but he also stepped over the boundaries and said things Spock knew were meant to be _actually_ hurtful. Spock either was or wasn't affected by his emotionalism, depending on the situation and the state of his control. But just the knowledge of a conflict weighed on his mind. And he told the Doctor so.

"Oh yeah? And you lot think you'ree so superior, dontcha? Well, excuse me, that I don't keep myself to a tight leash all the time", he spat at him. This was a prime example of a real annoyance in relation of the usual bickering on the bridge. Spock could deduce so from the frown and the quiet way he covered briefly his face with his hand, as if in pain. All the marks of distress.

"Doctor, I am only hoping to solve the internal conflict with our interactions before it starts to affect our performance", Spock stated in hopes of rationality to be the right, calming approach. Why did he always think of that? It had never proven right with the Doctor, nor did it this time. All it did was to paint McCoy's face red with fury.

"Is that all you think of?" he shouted, "You think I'm gonna explode like a goddamn photon torpedo if I don't get along with you all day every day, all year around? Back of my ass, you cold computer!"

"Isn't that the most preferable outcome?" said Spock, and this time it was genuine naivety, and not just "riffin", like it no doubt had been Kirk and McCoy himself previously.

" _NO!_ " cried McCoy, and he looked like he was trying to voice so many thoughts at once, that none of them came out of his mouth. He just sat down behind his desk and run fingers through his hair. "You don't get it do ya? I don't get along with Jim half the time, and I still wouldn't change him a tiniest bit. And I sure don't get along with you, you're a fucking nasty spike under my skin."

"If our relationship is so unsatisfactory, perhaps it should be then terminated", said Spock. It was logical. He had never kicked anyone in the stomach with a violent intention, but he immediately learned, that you could execute such an act on an emotional level as well.

"Get off my face. I can't stand you right now", McCoy said with the weirdest, hushed voice, Spock had ever heard him use, and he obliged. He let the Doctor alone in his office. Later he heard from Mr. Scott that he had got quite formidably intoxicated. The Captain had also heard the rumor and confronted him couple days later. The Doctor had apparently refused to tell him anything, except it had something to do with Spock.

"What the hell happened with Bones?" he demanded to know. Too bad Spock honestly was just as lost. His Human-reading ability wasn't on Dr. McCoy's level.

"I must ask you to specify, many things happen between me and Dr. McCoy."

Kirk blinked his eyes at that. There was a hint of smirk wiggling it's way through before he shook it determinately off.

"Stop. Don't do that with me, not this time! I really need to know what the name of Archer is happening on this ship! Why is my CMO and my First Officer being like petulant children by having some frankly stupid drama behind my back. Either you tell me, or I'll take you two into a formal inquiry."

Spock let the thought set for a minute. A formal questioning and possible reprimands, even mild, could very well tarnish both of their service records. This would classify as unprofessionalism on duty, and worst of all, inability to remove oneself from an emotional issue. The first would be something Spock could get passed, but a lapse on Vulcan foundations… that would be unacceptable.

"I suggested Dr. McCoy a termination of our friendship, for the benefit of our duties", Spock told Kirk with absolute honesty, yet he looked appalled.

"Why the heck you'd do that?! Has he been harassing you? I thought you two were through of the growing pains."

"On the contrary, Captain. I believe _I_ have somehow "crossed the line", as you would describe it. I am the cause of Dr. McCoy increased emotional anguish I wish to repel. I see no alternative, than seize the relationship. It clearly isn't up to my current abilities", said Spock, and this only seemed to puzzle Kirk even further.

" _Abilities?_ What kind of obstacle course you think he is?" he asked, and though Spock didn't find an answer, the Captain sure had accidentally pieced together a good metaphor to describe his and McCoy's relationship: an obstacle course. One, where Spock was going through blind, as the impediments were based on emotions.

A good number of Vulcans believed in some form of Vulcan superiority. Not in a hostile or inhumane way that would lead into conquering and violence, but nevertheless existed underneath. It was the same notion, that made Vulcan interstellar exploration in it's early days relatively inefficient and ignored. Vulcans did not have a drive to necessarily to contact anybody. It also was the root cause for disapproving interspecies marriages and offspring - with Humans especially. Emotional freedom was a taboo, you simply could not bring it up until very recently.

And it made sense if you knew Vulcan history and biology. To start with the latter, a natural hormonal fluctuation of an adolescent to mature Vulcans were four or five times stronger than Humans. Or any other species for that matter, excluding other Vulcanoids. In a free, nomad-like, hunter-gatherer society, it had been a useful trait.

The planet was very scarce in resources and one of the best tactics for a clan to survive, was harsh protectiveness towards your own and hostility against everyone who came near to your family unit. History comes into play, when the first civilizations were born - inclinations of masses of hormonal and territorial pre-Surakian Vulcans lead into countless wars. The peace was weak even when they weren't killing people next-door. On tight-knit, but suddenly huge community, too many people were into early stages of becoming sexually mature, were currently sexually active, or coming down off the rush, and a heap of constant extra strong Vulcan hormones just made all but impossible to be peaceful.

Until Surak of course, and the disciplines, which allowed Vulcans to grow past themselves.

You can see why Vulcans would view expressed and uncontrolled emotion to be so dangerous. It had been to them, so why wouldn't it be same for everyone else? Human history sure didn't speak good for itself, with all of their brutality and downright monstrosity, starting from abuse and ending with genocide. But were all emotions so... inherently treacherous?

As a child Spock had believed everything he had been thought about the importance of absolute control over ones animalistic instincts. Emotions were a leftover of barbarism, something ill and irresponsible. Even the fact that his own mother didn't constrain herself into these principles didn't make Spock doubt the absoluteness of the teachings. A child's mind is unique in its way to accept truths as given and not based on empirical evidence. Only after Sybok's disgraceful banishment Spock had woken up thinking, that maybe strict one-allowed-thought wasn't the right approach.

Spock had loved Sybok. He was vastly intelligent, a prime example of Vulcan youth. To this day Spock didn't know what went down with his father, Sybok's mother and Amanda. But something made Sybok detour in his certainty in Surak's teaching, and it had something to do with Sarek's own decision to marry a Human. It didn't matter, Sybok left, for good as it seemed, and Spock later joined Starfleet. And though he still did hold Vulcan ideals high and never wished to depart from them, the time the Academy and onwards had corrected him in a lot of ways.

Non-Vulcans aren't savage beasts. Humans in particular have hundreds or thousands of ways to deal with their emotions, some of which resembled Vulcans, some that were entirely alien. You were supposed to take the other's emotional state into account. You weren't meant to hurt people. On the Enterprise, Spock had learned concepts of courtesy, manner and _kindness_. All of which didn't exist in Vulcan curriculum, because in Vulcan books emotions were nothing but destructive and irrational.

So Spock had adapted another goal for himself, besides being as Vulcan he could be – he wished to be _kind._ And without a doubt he was failing at it miserably, because he couldn't deduct what he was doing wrong with Dr. McCoy, and why was he causing so much pain in him no matter what he did.

"Doctor, it has come to my attention that by inexperience I have caused emotional anxiety I didn't intend", Spock said the next time he had a private opportunity. The circumstances weren't optimal, he wouldn't have started this conversation while they were on the landing party, but since they were there only to gather scientific samples, with no contact with intelligent life expected, he calculated it was acceptable to engage in outside-duty conversation. But he wished he could have picked a more casual topic. McCoy tensed immediately. He had been surprisingly relaxed, even when they were paired up together, but now that Spock had brought up the "issue" he visibly shuddered.

"Ugh, how about, we forget the whole thing, shall we?", he said meekly.

"It would not be logical to ignore such a rift , which could cause a serious injury in a such case, we are once again separated from the Captain", Spock explained. McCoy shifted weight from one foot to another and tried to look like he was very interested in the plant in front of him. He was fidgeting with its pale purple flower, brushing it's petals.

"Christ, Jim has always been a bit of a diplomat. That jackass, the pain of my existence! I think that's how he gets so many pretty young things for bedfellows, he just always knows what to say to defuse the tension."

"I believe your assessment is correct", said Spock, not sure at all where this pleasant turn conversation was heading. McCoy lifted his head from the flower to snap his cool, blue eyes into his. You almost never see blue eyes on Vulcan. It's not a common trait. McCoy's gaze was going horizontally off, the down, and then right up to meet Spock's eyes again. Was it coy? No, not coy, Spock has seen the Doctor in a tentative state. Playful, perhaps?

Flirtatious?

"You think I like you only because Jim likes you?" he asked. That took Spock by surprise, enough to lift his eyebrow.

"No, I don't believe it's characteristic for you to pretend an emotional response", Spock answered, truthfully. McCoy chuckled at it! Yes, he did, and he snapped of the flower of it's stele and sniffed it. Amusement was bubbling in the air, you must be entirely numb, if you didn't feel it on your skin.

Spock, who indeed had kept a tidy log of all Human interaction he ever had, went through all the references to match McCoy's body language. A flutter of the eyes. Non-threatning posture, that little bounce he sometimes did when he was happy. It was a stark contrast to all of the most recent interactions they'd had, and just as Spock couldn't tell what he had been doing wrong previously, he didn't know what it was that he just said that was _right._

"I do not believe I am up to your standards of acceptable behavior", said Spock finally, after something that must have been more than 15 seconds. McCoy looked positively thrilled.

"So, I'm a game for you to play, huh?" he said. Spock was roaming through his mind to find a point of reference and came up with nothing.

"I'm currently lost it deciding the best course of action to keep your respected mood agreeable", he admitted. Was his heart racing? There was no time to investigate the feeling that seemed to be leaking through Spock's boundaries. It didn't seem to be any of those violent urges Vulcan parents warned their children from. Shyness perhaps? Admiration of McCoy's superb level of emotional intelligence he lacked so utterly and entirely? Infatuation? Whatever it was, McCoy could see right across his face.

"Ah. Well. The fact you think about it makes this old boy shiver", he soothed and just like that twisted the flower in his fingers to place it behind the tip of Spock's ears. He planned his movement so carefully, that he didn't touch him almost at all, and what he did, was soft, almost breeze-like.

"I… I do not understand", Spock said all and all bested by the Doctor. But this moment between them wasn't one based on logical arguments, so it was natural that he had the upper hand. McCoy was a creature of intuition.

"Maybe you should get up to my level, then, Mr Spock", he ventured in a way that only be described as daring. Spock opened his mouth to say something, but it was captured between Dr. McCoy's warm lips.

"I hate you. I can't stand you", McCoy breathed against his mouth and continued, "I love you. I wouldn't change a thing."

Guess you could say, that arguing with Dr. McCoy was more of a sign of affection than anything else. But Spock deducted he'll have more than enough opportunities to put this new hypothesis to the test, if he just let McCoy lead him through the obstacles he couldn't see himself.

 **FIN**


End file.
